His Lonely Heart
by Russian.God
Summary: "Jace for Gods sake man! Pull yourself together! She's gone, i know it hurts but your not the only one hurting you know!"  " But i loved her Alec, i loved her! Don't you get what that means? she left Alec SHE LEFT ME!" With that he died a bit more inside.
1. Chapter 1

**His Lonely Heart**

He walks the streets of lonely Brooklyn. The rain pelts from above but nothing bothers him anymore. The dark and threatening sky reflects the man he's become, that harsh rain that pelts the side walk stands for all those unshed tears he's been holding inside. When will it all stop? When will the pain cease to exist? How does he keep moving through life when there's nothing left of the man he was... Then again was he ever a man? Or just a stupid love boy who fell in love with an angel?

He continued to walk like a puppet. Just one foot at a time. No place to go, no one needed him. He just didn't belong anywhere, not since she left anyway. He can still remember the night she left; it was a night very much like this.

_He stood waiting, tonight would be the night. He would finally get the courage to ask the love of his life, no wait that doesn't sound right since he had ready died one, the love of his very being to marry him. A rippling sensation went through his body at the very thought, the nerves started to each away at his confidence... What if she doesn't say yes? What if she does say yes? How is he going to provide and be there for her? What if she just laughs at him? How is he going to do this? He had never had this feeling before but he did not like it. So instead of letting the nightmares degrade his confidence he busied himself over perfecting his shirt and dress pants. He was going to go for the full suit but just couldn't bring himself to do it. He liked the casual look to much._

_A sudden loud chime bought him out of his worries; it was the alarm clock screaming at him that if he didn't get a move on he was going to be late. Sure it got rid of his old worries but the warning sound dumped a whole new load into the view._

_He raced across the skies of New York, the feeling of riding a demon bike was amazing and he thought it right since such a happy memory of the two stuck this bike like a web of joy and love._

_The trip seemed shorter than usual and before he knew it he stood in front of her door, all his worries returning. He bought his hand to the door and knocked three times. The sound echoed through his brain. Sweat formed on his hands and dripped down the back of his neck. He couldn't think, couldn't breathe. The seconds seemed to last year's until finally the door opened and there she stood. Hair wild and frizzled, face pale yet flushed. She stood at the door in nothing but a pair of trackies and a t-shirt. He had never seen anyone so beautiful. Even though she looked like she had just woken up rather than about to go out with her 2 year long boyfriend. This isn't what scared him though, oh no, the scariest part was the look of pure agony and guilt that smothered her emerald eyes. A twang of pain, gut wrenching heartbreaking pain hit him like a tonne of bricks and soon he couldn't breathe again. He stared into her eyes as she stepped aside silently inviting her into her small New York apartment._

_He walked in to realize his worst nightmare was coming true. Nothing was left in her apartment. It was completely bare; the white walls seemed to scream at him. The bare tiled floors and empty kitchen scared him more than he cared to admit. This was it. The day he had dreaded. The only evidence that someone actually lived there was the two suitcases and duffel bags that stood in the middle of the entrance. They seemed to taunt him. He didn't even have the heart to glare at them oh no because at looking at the figure that stood behind them was enough to tear his soul to pieces right there and then._

_A geeky, four eyed vampire stood there with a bag slung over his shoulder. The sadness and pity stood out to him. The vampire wore that look. The one that said yeah bitch i just stole your girl but I do feel bad about it. But not that bad._

_He couldn't take the look in the vamps eyes any longer, he had always hated pity. Never saw what good such a mundane emotion would ever do for him, especially now. He turned around and looked towards his fallen angel. She had always referred to him as that but right now he felt more like a squashed bug and she stood there like an angel, he could almost picture her pure black wings ..._

_"Do I even want to know?" it was the first thing that any of them had said. His voice broke the silence with piercing clarity. It never betrayed his true emotions for which he was glad of, because if she could hear them it might send her running faster than she already was and no matter what his cocky attitude said he needed, he really did need to know what the hell was going on._

_The angel went to say something but her mouth just froze partly open and a crease formed on her forehead where her two eyebrows had started to frown from lack of words or lack of patience. He wasn't quite sure which._

_"Just spit it out. You seem to be in kind of a rush." he eyed the place warily. Yep she was defiantly in a rush if she thought it not best to even cancel the date but then again from the look of surprise on her face I wouldn't be surprised if she had completely forgotten, he thought._

_Movement in his peripherals turned his attention to the moving vampire. The vamp had dumped the bag with the rest of the suitcases and slowly made his way towards the girl. The pain of what happened next could never be forgotten. It was the most excruciating pain he had ever known and hoped he would never know again. The vampire had gone and put his arm around his angel's waist, and she let him. Whatever was left of him seemed to turn to ash after that. He would never be the same._

_He ran. The gesture was all he needed. He didn't need to hear her voice as she talked about another man. He could guess. He didn't need to watch the vamp as he bathed in all the glory of the prize which was the read headed angel._

_No matter how hard he thought about the betrayal about the pain and the anguish he couldn't seem to hate the fallen goddess, he only envied her. That she had made it out of this ship wreck in one piece. He doubted there was even a word for what he felt like right now. It was as if someone had taken all the good out of him and set it on fire. As if someone had torn his heart out with a spoon then burnt it and laughed at the ashes. It was a though a greater demon had swallowed him whole only to throw him back up and start stabbing him slowly and painfully with barbed wire._

_No this was completely different he thought. He would take any of that any day over this pain. He had never felt such a pain in his life and he hoped never to again._

_The one last thing that would forever be imprinted in his mind till the day he died was the look on her face as he ran and her voice saying one word. A word that portrayed so many emotions that he never wanted to figure out. One word sent his whole world crashing._

_"Jace," she had said. Just Jace._


	2. Chapter 2

His Lonely Heart

Chapter 2

Jace continued to walk to empty streets of Brooklyn. Lost in his own world of pain and ignorance he didn't notice the blonde haired beauty running hastily down the street, her arms and chest covered in strange black tattoos. She seemed to be chasing something, the kind of thing that always seemed to be the black smudge in the corner of your eye or a distant memory you could never quite grasp. To the world of a Shadowhunter it was called a demon. She cornered the horrible beast down a dark alley. Smiling to herself for trapping the vile thing.

"Well well well what do we have here? A little demon that seems to have run into a little trouble I see, what a shame." the sarcasm dripped from her voice. Her confident stance matched her arrogant smirk. She swiftly pulled some kind of knife from the belt fastened firmly around her curvaceous figure. Murmuring to it for a second and before her eyes it lit up. A beautiful sight she thought. Just like the Angel himself.

"_I-I ca-an give-e you any-yythi-ingg, juust spa-are mee." _the creatures voice was slimy and poisonous. It sent chills up her spine and sent a fire of anger through her.

How dare an evil demon like itself try and bribe her? Who does he think he is? She began to see red and her next words came out in a hiss of pure hatred, "I, Jamie Hallows, will never take a deal from something like you. You are lucky that your death will be painless and quick, I should make you suffer. By the Angel I hope you rot in hell you son of a bitch!" with that she lunged forward, gracefully taking off the heads of the two headed demon. They both rolled to the floor before turning into nothing. Just the way she liked it.

2 years had passed since Clary had left and the home of the lightwoods' still mourned her departure, and that of Simons. No one but Isabelle would admit it but both Magnus and Alec missed him. Jace on the other hand hated him; he had stolen his reason for living. Sure it had been her choice too but Jace could never hate her like he hated Simon.

It was a normal winter day in New York, the day Alec came barging into Jace's bedroom. Jace had been lying in his room, just like any other day. Jace rarely saw anybody anymore, he was either in his room, demon hunting or in the greenhouse. Nobody disturbed Jace either they were scared of what he had become, lifeless and cold.

Alec stood in his doorway just looking at the broken Jace. He took in his once beautiful appearance. Now he barely resembled the man he once was. His face was pale and under his eyes dark like he hadn't slept for the past 2 years, then again it wouldn't have surprised Alec. His face had grown stubble and his usually perfect golden hair seemed to have lost its gleam, his body seemed thinner, less muscled and scrawnier. This scared Alec but once he looked in Jace's once golden eyes he feared he had lost his friend forever. They no longer shimmered; they were blank, void of all emotion. His eyes just a sort of yellowy colour, the sort of colour fake gold has about it once you've worn it too much. They were dull and just plain scary. If only Clary could see him now. See what she had done to him. Alec hated Clary for what she and Simon had done but he had moved on. Sure he had felt betrayed and cut but he got over it and moved on. He had Magnus to help him. Magnus didn't seem surprised by Clary's departure, maybe he'd sensed it but never the less he seemed just as hurt by Clary's absence as everyone else.

He looked back to his friend and almost screamed at him. Jace still hadn't moved, he hadn't even acknowledged that Alec was there. It pissed him off.

"Jace man, what are you doing?" It was the most polite thing Alec could think of to say.

"Go away Alec. Let me wallow in my own self pity alone will you. I don't have time for this feelings crap that I know you're about to start with. I've heard it all a million times and I don't need it from you as well." if Alec had thought his eyes were dead than his voice was in a whole other category. Jace couldn't even bring himself to put any effort into any sort of hostility or arrogance as he once may have. It was lifeless.

"Jace for the Angels sake man! Pull yourself together! She's gone, I know it hurts you're not the only one hurting you know!" Alec all but screamed at him. He was being completely stupid and selfish thinking he was the only one suffering.

"But I loved her Alec, I loved her! Don't you get what that means? She left Alec, SHE LEFT ME!" Jace had finally turned to face Alec; he could see the pain strewn across Jace's features. Never before had he seem Jace so weak and so vulnerable. His golden eyes finally full of some emotion, unfortunately it was pain and if that wasn't enough to guess that he was a broken man the tears that ran down his paled face sure were a dead giveaway.

"Dude, you never told me you loved her. Why didn't you tell me? I mean I guess I knew you did but still why didn't you say something? These past two years you've been all alone, I could have helped. Why didn't you let me help man?" Alec stood there confused and pained. Jace hadn't told him he was in love. These past years had Alec meant nothing to him?

"I can see what you're thinking Alec and of course you mean something to me. You my best mate, my brother but why would I burden this on you? No I had to deal with it myself. I saw how happy you are with Magnus and I wasn't about to ruin your life like I seem to ruin everybody else's. No, it stops here." Alec was about to ask about what Jace had meant by ruining every bodies lives when Isabelle ran through the door.

"Come, now. We have a visitor and let me tell you I am this close to slapping her, arrogant bitch." with that she stormed of muttering something about rudeness but she had ran into her room and slammed her door before the guys could inquire.

With a lasting glance at a rising Jace, Alec ran towards the library where he was sure Izzy would have taken the new girl. Or at least he hoped.

She paced, back and forwards across the beautiful floors of the institutes library. The black haired girl, Isabelle she thought her name might be, seriously didn't seem to have a sense of humour. At all. God why had she come to the institute again? Most the time they are run by old people or stuck up snobs who don't like to get their hands dirty and by look the of the library she thought the world's biggest book worm must live here.

_Brilliant. That sounds like so much fun._

If only there was another place to stay, she would be staying but Jamie couldn't stay anywhere that word might get out. She was to easily recognisable and downworlders loved to gossip plus the institute was the only place registered, besides Jocelyn's and Lucian's and there was no way she was going there, where shadow hunters were.

Just then the large wooden doors to the library smashed open and there stood the most gorgeous guy she had ever seen. He had strong arms and body, his face looked like it was sculptured by the gods, his dazzling golden eyes sparkled slightly in the dim lights.

_Maybe this won't be too bad a stay after all. _Jamie thought to herself.

"Who the bloody hell are you and why the hell are you here." the incredibly good-looking boy spoke. His voice worn and annoyed.

_What a warm welcome._ She was just full of sarcasm today.

"Hi I'm Jamie it's nice to meet you too asshat."

Suddenly Blondie froze and a mixture of pained emotions flickered across his face before he finally controlled his expression again. What had she said that had been so offensive to him? She mused. What Jamie didn't realize was that he had only heard that expression once before. From_ her._

"Yeah yeah and I'm God himself now what do you want?" Jace said his voice cold. She was beautiful and it was killing him. He'd been looking at her at total of 2 minutes and he already hated her.

She made him feel. Feel something he hadn't felt in 2 years. Attraction. Sure there were plenty of attractive girls but Jace never saw them anymore it's like they walked around with bags on their heads or something. This girl however seemed to be jumping out at him light a flashing neon sign in the middle of a Texas desert.

"Well for starters I would love it if you would keep your staring to a minimum I mean I know I'm gorgeous and all but you could at least wait till I'm not looking," this startled Jace, he only now realized he had been staring at the strange girl. "And now for the main event, I need a place to crash for a while. Plain and simple, now if you would be so kind as to show me to my room it would be highly appreciated."

_Oh great, out of all the shadow hunters that could stop at our door it had to be a beautiful cocky arrogant one. _A small part of the old Jace began to rear it head. Too bad it was the sarcastic arrogant side._  
><em>

"Follow me ma'am." venom dripped from his voice and he swore he could feel her amused smirk as it plastered her face.

They were almost to the guest part of the institute when someone finally spoke. Between Jace's stomping and inner battle he hadn't thought to make small talk, too bad she couldn't resist hearing his voice, even if it was cold and cruel.

"You never did tell me your name Lord Almighty." she spoke; a laugh escaped her lips as she smirked at her own joke.

"It's Jace but you can call me... Actually on seconds thought don't call me at all don't even talk to me." with that vile statement he pointed the devil girl to her room then swiftly turned on his heels and stalked away hoping to find some place of peace where he could wallow in his own self pity and maybe even go slay a few demons before the night was over.

Jace always thought that once he went demon hunting that everything would feel righting the world. And it did, for a short amount of time but once all the demons were dead and he had nothing to preoccupy his mind Jace went back to his depressing state that consisted of a hollow aching pain in his chest and a gut wrenching pain in his stomach. All of this conjured up when the first thought of Clary was bought into existence whenever Jace thought of Clary he thought about her beautiful messy red hair that always seemed perfect to him, or here mesmerising green eyes that were the only eyes in the world in which he could get lost in. He thought about how graceful and innocent she looked when she drew or painted compared to when she stood hands on her tiny hips glaring at him after he had said something arrogant or cruel. She was always there to reign him in, to show him his wrongs and try to save him.

She must have seen a lost cause because one day she just stopped trying to save him. Maybe if he had tried harder she would have stayed, maybe if he had been nicer she wouldn't have left. After all, what else would send her running for the hills but him? Even worse, running with a vampire. Stupid rat boy. He stole Clary away; he took everything that had ever meant anything to Jace away from him. Not only hurting Jace in the progress but Isabelle as well, for Izzy had fallen head over heels for Simon, she had finally thought she had found the one guy that would treat her right only to find that he had run off with someone else, that someone else being her best friend. Jace knew what she must have felt but unlike Izzy, Jace didn't have a brother or a mother or a father to pull him through.

No he was all alone.

Forever the misunderstood, reckless, stupid and lonely shadow hunter.

**_If you've read it an liked it, review!_**

**_If you've read it an disliked it, review!_**

**_If you've read it at all... REVIEW!_**

**_Please guys it would be greatly appreciated! :D_**

**_P.S anyone a Vampire Academy fan? Or a Morganville vamps fan? If so check out my profile, i have some pretty awesome stories going on at the moment and i would love it if you would give them a look at! Thanks again. x_**


	3. AN Hey Everyone

Hey everyone, you may choose to read this or you may not.

I've been pretty inactive for a while and i need to get back into the swing of things but to begin with i need some advice on my stories. I'm going to post the name and the summary of the stories and if you like the sounds of it go give it a look for me please! It will help me understand where i need to go from here if you would all just leave me a nice review

I have another one-shot going on for Vampire Academy and I'm not sure if i should continue writing them.

Rose Thorns, Sharper than a Knife

She left him; she ran away from him, she took his only reason for sanity... all the way to Russia. Rose left Adrian at the end of Last Sacrifice, will he keep on living or will he choose the easy way out? ... Swearing inside. * ONE SHOT *

I have a ongoing story for Vampire Academy

Red Ink

Victor Dashkov has escaped and has sworn revenge on none other than Rosemarie Hathaway. Twists and turns will change Rose's life forever. Will her body, heart and soul survive? Set sometime before graduation except Dimitri was never taken by Strigoi.

I also have a Morganville Vampire story ongoing but this one I'm not sure where it is going...?

Death Is Just the Beginning

What happens when Jason gets out of Jail? Will he ever forgive himself for his mistake or will Clare get caught in the middle? How will Shane go on? What about Eve and Michael? Will she ever come back? I'm just messing with what could have happened when he was released. R&R

Thanks for reading this and please just check them out!

Thank you for everything


	4. Chapter 4

**_Hey Guys here is Chapter 3! Long awaited i know but i had a little trouble with it... i wasn't sure how this chapter was going to end and i know your all waiting for it to get interesting and find out who Jamie is but don't worry... soon will all be revealed!_**

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><p>His lonely heart<p>

Chapter 3

_Jace Lightwood. _Jamie had come to hear that name a million times since she had arrived two weeks ago at the New York institute. The name which sounded strong and fiercesome did not match the man she thought him. Sure Jace was scary at times but it was a mad scary almost like he was losing his mind rather than temper, he was nothing of the warrior she had heard of so many times... And Jamie couldn't help but wonder why?

She knew nothing of the other inhabitants that lived at the institute and she didn't really care because they weren't nearly as fascinating as Jace. Jace seemed to switch on and off, or mysteriously disappear. Sometimes he didn't speak for days and when he did it was though he regretted it straight after, like he had let a huge secret slip. This didn't confuse Jamie half as much as the looks the two eldest Lightwood children would give Jace whenever he turned his back. It was a look of pity and pain almost the look you would share only with a grave stone, loss, pain and regret. He was alive... Why would they feel they had lost him?

_Jace Lightwood_, the world's biggest mystery. And she was going to crack it.

Midnight sprung as the amazing flash of colour and beauty erupted from the miraculous plant. It soothed his charred heart ever so slightly knowing that there was still beauty and peace outside his little cocoon of pain and despair. He sat and looked up at the stars wondering what Clary was doing right now. Was she happy with rat boy? Was he keeping her safe? Did she ever even think of him? Deep down Jace knew she did and that she still loved him on some level but he would never for a second let himself hope or believe it for if he was ever wrong it would only break him further. The words Valentine had once ingrained into Jace's young mind had never given him peace in two years.

_To love is to destroy. And to be loved is to be the one destroyed._

Had Valentine been right? What has love ever done for anybody? Sure it brings us a few sacred moments of pure joy but is it worth a life time of pain?

Isabelle has broken so many hearts but in her greatest moment of love her heart was crumpled.

Maryse and Roberts relationship has been broken ever since the death if Max.

Max... The kind innocent comic freak. He loved everybody and would never hurt a fly yet he was taken and everyone was crushed.

Jace could only see the bad things which had come from love. He had not realized what the love of all these people had given him and what his love gad don't for others. He needed Clary, the most human of them all, to keep his mind set on reality. Yet it was her leaving which had undone him. Can he be saved? Of course he couldn't he was a wreck! He would never pull through this lingering state of torture and loss. Jace was damned to a life of loneliness and Jace accepted it, never once did Jace ever try to fight his way out of the burning chains of a love once lost. Never did Jace stick it to his tormented heart and tell it to move on. No Jace reveled in the burning pain and adrenaline his memories with Clary bought him. Jace thrived on living in the past, his past with Clary, because he was too afraid to face his future without her.

his future was a joke to Jace, a future without Clary was a joke and a bad one at that. Yet fate had thought it funny to watch Jace suffer and suffer and suffer a bit more. Jace was bought up to believe that somewhere the angels were watching and he had always thought that surely if these angels were warriors of the oh so mighty God then they would send him something, someone to show him the light. Then again he had once told Clary what he had thought of God and heaven.

_And when I saw him, my father, lying there dead in his own pool of blood I knew I hadn't stopped believing in God, id just stopped believing he cared. There might be a God, Clary, and there might not. Either way, we're on our own._

Jace believed that more now than ever, but it still didn't stop him praying. Some may call it deceitful or even just wrong, praying to a God you don't believe in that is, but Jace never stopped believing so he prayed. He prayed with everything he had.

Jace prayed that they would help him, she him because Jace knew he could never do it alone. Jace prayed for the angels and for Clary he prayed for his siblings and his family.

He thought it all out in his head of course because of someone was to hear his prayers would never come true, just like dreams ad wishing upon a star you never give up your wildest dreams.

"_Amen" _he had said it with such life and confidence but it was barely heard because at the exact moment the word had left his mouth a loud bang of flying doors boomed through the greenhouse. It shocked Jace so much that his Shadowhunter instincts kicked in.

In less than two seconds he had the intruder pushed up against a wall and a knife at their throat. Then Jace eyes zoomed in on his intruder, she was beautiful and familiar. It was the girl that had moved into the institute. The one he was set on hating. Jamie her name was. She still seemed familiar but from somewhere else. Her hair was so blonde it was almost white and her eyes such a blue that sapphires would seem jealous he was memorized by her and couldn't seem to pull away. Their bodies were pressed together, he back against the wall, they seemed to fit together perfectly. Her chest heaved up and down breathing heavily and her muscles were tight in her arms almost as if she was holding herself back. Jace then zoomed in on the expression on her face, it screamed fear but he couldn't understand why.

"Hey look Jace, I know I'm attractive and all and I know your jealous of my undeniable good looks but slitting my throat isn't going to help anything." The penny dropped then, he still had a knife to her throat. He let his left arm drop and backed away from her.

"Sorry." Was all he said as he made his way back to the bench on the far side of the green house.

_What the hell just happened? _Jace thought.

What was it about Jamie that bought out a weird side to Jace, one he never showed to anybody else anymore. Jace's sarcasm was the first thing she had dug up and now his loss of control and thought? Who was she? Jace wanted, no needed to know everything about her. Yet they had only met twice and neither under good circumstances. Why did he want to know her? He needn't ask, it was her eyes. Her eyes that were so familiar ones he had seen before but couldn't place. Those same eyes pulled him towards her and he hated it. He hated the need for her or the unfathomable desire to have her set right next to him. Where was it all coming from? Why was this happening? Was it too much to ask to be left alone for the rest of his life? Obviously so.

He felt her presence next to him. She had come to sit down but sat as far away as possible. Almost as if she was afraid of him.

"There's no need to be afraid of me, I won't hurt you." He intended his voice to be bored and uncaring but it came out completely different. It was sincere and emotional almost as if he cared what she thought.

_But you do care you idiot! _A little voice screamed at Jace but he silenced it. Not wanting to have an inner battle in front of someone. Especially not her.

"Pfft! Like you could hurt me, I was only seconds away from kicking your ass. You couldn't beat me." Her voice was like silk, it wrapped around him. Her comment bought a smile to his lips. God how long had it been since he smiled?

"Next time maybe." he laughed. She couldn't take him but he would let her try if the moment ever arose again. What was going on? He was already thinking about their next meeting when he felt like cursing her name!

"Next time hey? So you plan on holding me at knife point some other time as well? I must be more gorgeous than I once thought." She smiled at him a perfect smile. Her red lips pulled over white teeth. He couldn't believe how perfect she looked. He tried to find a fault, just any fault to try and make her seem real to him and sure enough he found it a slight scar running down from below her ear down below he shirt line. He wanted to know the story behind the scar and before he could help himself his fingers were tracing the scar. He fingers barely touching her but where they did a spark ignited in them. A small gasp escaped her lips meaning she had felt the flame of his touch too.

The gasp bought him back to reality though and with reality came pain. The gasp should have been Clary's gasp it should have been her he was touching not some stranger. He stood up right so quickly Jamie almost missed it and he whispered a good bye before running from the greenhouse.

"What. The. Hell." was all Jamie said before she collapsed further into the bench and let her mind wander over what had just happened; the touch, his eyes his smile. How memorizing he was. Who was he? She needed to know everything about him and soon for she feared he was on the verge of cracking and she needed to save him. Yet she didn't know why.

_Why. _The question which seemed to be on everyone's lips...

_Why?_

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><p><em><strong>Who liked it? I hope you did... can anyone guess where this stories going? Would love to hear your ideas! <strong>_

_**Also don't forget to review ! Love you all!**_

_** x  
><strong>_


	5. Chapter 5

His lonely heart

Chapter 4

Jamie walked down the dimly lit corridors of the New York institute. She was memorized by the intricate detailing of gold spirals along the deep red wallpaper; she watched the lines swirl and flick as they created patterns and images. It was so simple yet beautiful to Jamie. Now if she had not been so intrigued by the ancient wallpaper she would have noticed the brooding young man with features of an Angel walking towards her, she would have seen him step directly into her path and smack straight into her athletic body. But she didn't.

"Hey watch it, I'm walking here!" she yelped at the brick wall of a man who had just barged into her. She was incredibly annoyed and on the verge of a total fit and she would have had one as well if it were not for the fact that when she looked up she stared directly into mass pools of Gold.

_Jace_

She had never seen his eyes so bold and beautiful before, usually they were dull and murky but now they glowed and memorized her. Just like the gold swirls in the wallpaper.

"Sorry, I didn't see you there. Maybe if you had been watching where you were going you wouldn't be sat on the floor with what is most likely a bruised bum." a snarky grin appeared on his face.

"Excuse me? You were the one who ran into me. Maybe if your head wasn't so far up your arse you would see where you were going." as Jamie said this she smiled. A dazzling smile, one that made Jace loose all train of thought for a few seconds but after he had collected himself the bickering continued. A few more snarky comments and a few more dazzling smiles and happy faces, the day was going well, all up until the point that Jace put his foot in his mouth.

"Chill out, okay so maybe it was my fault jeesh. I'm sorry just please don't go all psycho PMS chick on me will you." Jamie did not take well to the sexist comment and before Jace knew what was happening Jamie had him on the floor with his face smashed into the carpet and his arms wrenched behind him. Jamie sat straddling him with a devious grin set upon her lips.

"What was that about psycho PMS chick? Mate you haven't seen psycho until you've seen me demon hunting. Now your punishment for the totally asshatish and sexist comment shall be me tickling you until you piss your pants like a little girl watching jaws." Jamie laughed an evil laugh, one Disney would be jealous of, and Jace went rigid and afraid .Jace was deathly ticklish and he was sure if she tickled him too much he surely would piss his pants to he Did the only thing logical he bucked her off and slammed his bodyweight on top of her. His legs pressed firm on top of her and his hands restraining her arms above her head.

Their faces mere inches apart.

Their breathing laboured and hard.

Both of their chests rising and falling in sync.

And their eyes never leaving each other.

Jamie stared right into his eyes her mind completely blank, she was in shock and with Jace so close her thoughts were jumbled and incoherent she could hardly breathe.

Jace on the other hand was thinking way too much. Debating on whether what he had done was a good thing or not. Deciding whether it was worth the pain that would hit him later but then all fell silent. Their breathing slowed and their minds went blank all Jace knew was that she was beautiful and all he could feel was the heat that radiated from her body and slowly warmed his frozen heart. A current of lust and passion ran between the two and before Jace could understand what part of him had said yes first his lips were on her and their whole bodies erupted into a fiery pit of raw undiluted passion and impatience.

They stayed there for an unknown amount of time, neither caring for they were lost in each other heat and embrace. Little did they know that down stairs their futures were being discussed?

"Isabella, we have to tell him. He has to know." Alec was on his last nerve with his site and her secrets.

"Alec you know if we tell him now it will destroy him. Why do you think I've kept it a secret for so long? He is finally getting better. I see it every day, little snide comments, the tiniest grin and he actually eats now! If we told him it would ruin whatever progress he's made and he would just end up back in that little personal pit of hell he was in before." Izzy was right as usual, but so was Alec. Which one would be right for Jace? Only time would tell, but for now Jace was happy... Maybe just for a little while.


	6. Chapter 6

_**Hey guys, Heres chapter 6! I really do love writing this story. I wish you guys would leave me lovely reviews! :)**_

___**Thanks to those who do! I LOVE YOU LOADS! **_

___**Please i spend hours writing and re-writing these... even though there are still mistakes.. sorry did i mention I write them on my phone in class? Haha... What else is there to do :p**_

___**Read and enjoy... let me know what you think at the end! xoxo**_

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><p>His Lonely Heart<p>

Chapter 6

_Dear Clary,_

_It's been a while since I wrote you a letter and longer still since I talked to you face to face. Do you know I can still remember the very first letter I wrote you, we were in Idris and I was about to go and finally end things with Valentine, I was about to make sure you were safe forever. I told you how much I loved you, even though at the time I thought it wrong because as far as we knew we were flesh and blood. Everything changed in that letter, I realized I would never get over you and I would never be able to see you as anything but the love of my life. _

_Things haven't really changed much, I still love you and it hurts. It's hurts too much; just to think about what we had, what we could have been... but there's no point mentioning that. I suppose you're happy with rat boy... I hope he treats you well. Things aren't easy for me, without you. I barely live anymore. I can't breathe without you by my side, you're like my own personal life support machine, and without you I fall into a pit off death and pain. Where did you go my fiery Angel? Will I ever see you again?_

_Half the night I waste in sighs,__  
><em>_Half in dreams I sorrow after__  
><em>_The delight of early skies;__  
><em>_In a wakeful doze I sorrow__  
><em>_For the hand, the lips, the eyes,__  
><em>_For the meeting of the morrow,__  
>I wait,<em>

_I wait for my fiery Angel._

_Lately, things have been better. I smile now, I crack jokes at Alec, and I make fun of Isabelle's cooking and Jamie... Oh God what am I going to do about Jamie? These feelings I have, I can't understand... How can I feel when you took everything that ever held any love or emotion I ever had. You took my heart and soul Clary, and I wouldn't have it any other way. _

_I can see it in her eyes you know. That look, the exact same one you used to get around me. The look of confusion and knowing, the look said you saw everything but yet didn't know it all. The exact same look that made me fall in love with you in the first place; the look of fiery determination and love, the look which could burn a person where they stood or heal their once charcoaled heart. _

_She looks at me like I'm and idiot and her saviour at the same time, like she trusts me completely but she doesn't know why. I know the feeling. I trust her, with everything... but why? _

_She will end up falling for me... and me? I could never love her. I would just end up hurting her. I need her to help me through the pain of you not here anymore. I want her, God I want her... she brings up this fire within me, this raw passion and aggression that I wasn't even sure I was capable of... Yes I need her... Yes I want her... But no... I could never love her..._

_Two Out Of Three Ain't Bad is it? _

_The more time I spend with her, the less I think about you. Is that a good thing? Do I want to forget about you? No. Would it the make the pain go away? Yes. Is it worth it? Never. Is she worth it? Only time will tell, but something tells me... She is. _

_Alec and Izzy of course miss you, every day. They don't blame you, you know... Izzy doesn't even blame Simon, I think she loves him too much. She did love him. She won't admit it but we know. I always know. _

_They've been hiding something lately, something I'm sure I want to know or ever find out but I can feel it in the pit of my stomach it's not good and I'm going to have to face it one day. I hope you're there to face it with me..._

_Can't blame a guy for dreaming. _

_God Clary, why did you leave? What did I do? What could I of done to made you stay? I would be anything for you. I would do anything for you. Except get over you. You're forever in my heart Clary._

_Never forget that._

_I will ALWAYS love you. _

_For as long as there is sunshine,_

_For as long as there is moonlight,_

_I will love you. _

_I will love you till the end of time,_

_I will love you for all of eternity,_

_Maybe even longer. _

_I don't blame you if you hate me, I wish you would. As long as I can still dream, I will dream of you._

_-Jace_

Jace had been writing letters to Clary ever since she left, but he never sent them. He kept them in a shoe box under his bed and in his weakest moments he would read over them, just to torture himself that little bit more. He never told anyone about the letters. He probably never will though he has a feeling Jamie will know one day... what was it about her that sent him on edge at the thought, like his whole body had erupted just at the thought of her?

It wasn't right, wasn't he meant to be damned to a life of loneliness and hell... was he meant to have this second chance? The chance to get it right this time?

Was it right to keep this going between Jamie and himself knowing that he could never love her or even get close to the love her felt for Clary? Should she know? She already knew, if she didn't then she was just stupid. She must see it. The way he zones out at a memory or the way his face just crumples and his heart re breaks. It's better with her around though. It's when he's alone that it's worse. One day... One day he will be able to get a full night sleep without nightmares and heart ache. One day... he will... it will most likely be his last night.

Jace put away the letter and re-hid the box under his bed, he left his room for the land of the living and he decided today... Today he would make a change. He would be the man Clary would want him to be. The old Clary, the one which still loved him.

He walked down the corridor with a new spring in his step and his head held a little bit higher. People who didn't know Jace wouldn't have seen the difference but as he entered the library Izzy did... she saw the sparkle return in his eyes and the glow return to his skin. He even smiled at her and said...

"Who's up for Taki's?" She almost had a heart attack at that. Joy erupted through her, she had her brother back. He was back. For a little while.

Izzy charged at him and leaped right into his arms and wound tight, never letting go. She had missed him; it was if he were back from the dead. A smile lit upon both their faces was enough to make the entire planets smile for just a second. Just one second the whole world smiled for a family was reunited.

A long way away, though not as far as you might think, a girl, the most extraordinary girl with bouncing red curls and dazzling green eyes smiled. The first smile in two years. Her lips cracked and even split. She could taste the coppery blood run into her mouth and she started to laugh. Laugh so hard that she ended up crying so hard. Not from joy, from pain. The laughing had caused her lightly bandaged stomach to re-open at the wound, blood seeped again and she cried out in pain. She wished she had her hands free to pull at her hair and rip it from her hair, to gouge out her own eyes, to do anything just to make the pain in her stomach stop. Unfortunately they were chained to a wall. She had been chained to a wall for two years.

Two years, she had wished for her Golden to save her, but why would he? She left him heartbroken and dead inside.

Now she was close, to being dead too. Both in her heart and the literal sense.

She was going to die.

_He _had made sure of that, but first _he _had to make her suffer. Feed her only what she needed to survive on... barely... give her only what she needed to survive. As long as she suffered while she did. She wished every day, that death would take her and she would be free of the torture and free to one day, be reunited with Jace. Her golden Angel.

Where was he? Did he still love her? She loved him with everything that was inside of her and she regretted their last day together ever since he walked out the door. He looked like the kind of man that was about to jump off a cliff, if it wasn't for Simon's arm fastened tightly around her waist she would have gone running after him and begged him to forgive her. That wasn't the purpose though. That would have defeated all the planning and heartache the last month of her normal life would have caused her. She would take that heartache and stress over this any day.

Why is it that you don't know what you have until you lose it?

What is it with us humans that take everything we have for granted?

Clary never would again.

She would cherish every sunrise,

Every breath,

Every smile or laugh,

Every butterfly in her stomach,

Every single one of Jace's smiles,

Every singles beautiful laugh he ever made.

As long she got see it one last time.

Would she?

She could only dream...

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><p><em><strong>Like? I damn well hope so! I absolutely love writing this story! And I can't wait till i finish the next chapter! Going to be awesome even if I do say so my self! :D <strong>_

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